BLUE
a love story
by Briana Lynn
Missing you got a texture;
a mass; and its own moon
It don't hurt
but its dense--
sunk
down
at the
bottom
of me
warm;
curling;
and cramped
up between
soft
tissue. It
don't hurt but
I feel it there,
pressing.
I remember Blooming.
Your hands between my
legs felt like
Blues.
I liked to make love when I
was speechless so that you
could reach in and wrap
around the mute thing. I
felt like pepper when you
were through with me; or
like glitter, and as ground
up as static noise.
We were
folded
and tucked
into one
another like
braids
or love letters
or
newborn fists
Too sweaty
and too
curious to
mind that we
had to
hold our
breath
sometimes
to fit right,
and that our
teeth
banged a little
when
we kissed.
Then there was the time you
tasted different; and the
time I saw you and thought,
my how you've grown; and
the night I woke up hot and
you woke up tugging at
your waist because the
thing we were wearing was
too small.
Doubt
Shows up
quietly
and
unannounced
and
uninvited
and
foreboding
and
permanent
as gray hair.
Doubt
grows humid and soft
In the wood floor.
I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making lo
We were pressed against
incongruence like glass,
window shopping
and clawing at one another.
Exhausted, because we
were not
each other's first
language.
Can't nothing be done
to a sunset
Our mouths
were bulldozers by then.
So we faced dus k,
hand in hand, daydrea mi n g
at the edge of a clif f,
with something new and slim y be tween ou r p a l m s
about, "I Love Yo u"
when it so un d e d
like a pate n t
and a tradem
ar
k.
Doubt
grows humid and soft
In the wood floor.
I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love
would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned
making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix
it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making lo
We were pressed against
incongruence like glass,
window shopping
and clawing at one another.
Exhausted, because we
were not
each other's first
language.
Can't nothing be done
to a sunset
Our mouths
were bulldozers by then.
So we faced dus k,
hand in hand, daydrea mi n g
at the edge of a clif f,
with something new and slim y be tween ou r p a l m s
about, "I Love Yo u"
when it so un d e d
like a pate n t
and a tradem
ar
k.
Briana Lynn is currently an MFA candidate in Cross-Disciplinary Literary Arts at Brown University. She works at the intersection of a literary and visual practice. She's worked as a contributing writer for Okayplayer and exhibited at Bronzeville Art Lofts, The Silver Room and the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts.